Q - I ordered one of your CDs, but when I put it in I'm not hearing anything. What gives?
A- First make sure you're not deaf. You can easily check this by holding a shotgun up to your ear and firing off a round.
Did you hear anything? If you did, you're not deaf...although you probably are now.
Q - So now I've got your CD working, but I don't really like what I'm hearing.
A - This one's tricky. You may be a moron. Some symptoms of being a "moron" include being a Michigan or Texas fan.
Solutions include supporting better schools / teams such as Ohio State and Oklahoma. Is John Tesh your hero? If so,
this is your problem. Solutions include shooting yourself.
Q - I've heard that dj erb makes "music for smart people". Is that true?
A - Yes, and under that provision fans and supporters of Michigan or Texas are not allowed to listen to dj erb's music.
Although we here at the White Rabbit Ranch don't see this as being a problem, the short bus isn't equipped with a
CD player.
Q - Does dj erb work hard at his music?
A - Yes, dj erb works hard at what he does. Then again, so do washing machines.
Q - I've heard that dj erb's likeness appears on high value stamps in Belize. Is that true?
A - Both dj erb and the White Rabbit Ranch emphatically deny having ever been to Belize nor ever had any dealings
with the sovereign nation of Belize. Never been there. Not once. Ever.
Q - Is it true that dj erb's voice is audible only to cats?
A -
Q - I love tatoos. Does dj erb have any tatoos?
A - Yes, dj erb does have a life size tatoo of his face - on his face.
Q - When will I get it?
A - Well if the "it" in question is the clap, I'd say it'll probably be about the same time you put your trust in a hooker
named Clymidia.
Q - No no no. I meant if I order a CD, when will I get it?
A - When it shows up in your mailbox. Duh.
Q - Where is dj erb located?
A - Presently in the bathroom. Never, ever order the double ham sandwich.
Q - No, I meant where does dj erb live?
A - Oh, my bad. Earth. Why? Where do you live? Have they colonized Mars yet and no one told us?
Q - Do you always take questions this literally?
A - I don't know. Do you always ask this many questions?
Q - For (censored) sake! Can't I get a (censored) straight (censored) mother (censored) answer around this (censored)
place you (censored) piece of (censored)?! (censored)!
A - We here at the White Rabbit Ranch are not doctors, but we're going to go ahead and recommend that you switch to
decaf. But don't be alarmed, there are plenty of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as
the real thing.
Q - Easter Egg #2 - for your reward go to www.djerb.net/WRR12345.htm
A - Well now if you don't ask a question, makes it hard to give you an answer now doesn't it?! Therefore we will use an
answer from a randomly selected Trivial Pursuit card. Using this logic, the answer to your question is Oprah Winfrey.
Q - I live in Europe. When can I see a dj erb show in my area?
A - dj erb has not been welcome on European flights since that stewardess informed him they were out of complimentary
Rold Gold pretzels. We hear she is recovering well, though. Amazing what doctors can do these days. You can barely
even notice the bite marks anymore.
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