dj erb abuses the following equipment :

Numark NS7

Pioneer CDJ-800s

Numark CDX

Alesis Micron

Washburn Dimebag Signature guitar

Schecter 7-String Diamond guitar

Digitech RP6

Digitech RP80

Dunlop Crybaby

Native Instruments Komplete Audio 6

Samson Meteor Mic

Killian's Irish Red

Rold Gold Pretzels

Your girlfriend

Q - I ordered one of your CDs, but when I put it in I'm not hearing anything. What gives?

A - First make sure you're not deaf. You can easily check this by holding a shotgun up to your ear and firing off a round. Did you hear anything? If you did, you're not deaf...although you probably are now.

Q - I've heard that dj erb makes "music for smart people". Is this true?

A - Yes, and under that provision fans and supporters of Michigan or Texas are not allowed to listen to dj erb's music. Although we here at the White Rabbit Ranch don't see this as being a problem...the short bus isn't equipped with a CD player.

Q - Does dj erb work hard at his music?

A - Yes, dj erb works hard at what he does. Then again, so do washing machines.

Q - I've heard that dj erb's likeness appears on high value stamps in Belize. Is that true?

A - Both dj erb and the White Rabbit Ranch emphatically deny having ever been to Belize nor ever had any dealings with the sovereign nation of Belize. Never been there. Not once. Ever.

Q - Is it true that dj erb's voice is audible only to cats?

A -

Q - I love tattoos. Does dj erb have any tattoos?

A - Yes, dj erb does have a life size tattoo of his face - on his face.

Q - When will I get it?

A - Well if the "it" in question is the clap, I'd say it'll probably be about the same time you put your trust in a hooker named Clymidia.

Q - No no no. I meant if I order a CD, when will I get it?

A - When it shows up in your mailbox. Duh.

Q - Where is dj erb located?

A - Presently in the bathroom. Never, ever order the double ham sandwich.

Q - No, I meant where does dj erb live?

A - Oh, my bad. Earth. Why? Where do you live? Have they colonized Mars yet without telling us?

Q - Do you always take questions this literally?

A - I don't know. Do you always ask this many questions?

Q - For (CENSORED) sake! Can't I get a (CENSORED) straight (CENSORED) mother (CENSORED) answer around this place you (CENSORED) piece of (CENSORED)?! (CENSORED)!!!

A - We here at the White Rabbit Ranch are not doctors, however we do feel confident in suggesting you switch to decaf. But don't be alarmed, there are plenty of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.

Q - Congrats! Type this URL into your browser for a prize - www.djerb.net/1138.htm

A - Well now if you don't ask a question it makes it awfully hard to give you an answer now doesn't it?! Therefore we will use an answer from a randomly selected Trivial Pursuit card. Using this logic, the answer to your question is Canada.

Q - I live in Europe. When can I see a dj erb show in my area?

A - dj erb has not been welcome on European flights since an alleged altercation that occured on an overseas flight when a stewardess informed him they were out of complimentary Rold Gold pretzels. Google it.

 

dj erb's likeness is unknown

 

dj erb Q&A and Trivia - Your real questions finally answered. Does dj erb really require two double-A batteries? Is he truly terrified of Canadians? Does dj erb still think Star Wars was a documentary? Okay, we'll drop all the shenanigans for a moment and actually answer some real questions inside. Take a look.

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